How To Make The Perfect Grilled Cheese

Ah, the grilled cheese sandwich. It’s an American classic (unless it was invented somewhere else in which case forget I said that and also shut up because I don’t want to hear about it), simple to make and beloved by all ages.

Because I’m a nice person, and because I’d rather be goofing off on the computer rather than doing something actually productive, I will share with you my very simple technique for making the perfect grilled cheese.

To begin with, you can forget all that nonsense about how it doesn’t matter what kind of cheese and/or bread you use because IT MATTERS VERY MUCH. American cheese and white bread are the only acceptable combination for a classic grilled cheese and if you think otherwise you’re probably a communist and I don’t want you reading my blog.

Okay, now that the commies are gone here’s what you do:

  1. Take a small fry pan (about 6″, I guess, I’m not real good with math) and place it on medium heat
  2. Throw a goodly sized chunk of butter (tablespoon-ish) in the pan
  3. While the butter melts, assemble the sandwich by laying 4 slices of cheese between 2 pieces of white bread. I overlap my cheese so that not a whole lot hangs over the edge, it’s just a thing I have, but SOME overhang is okay I guess
  4. Once the butter is melted (IMPORTANT: do not over-melt the butter – you want it to just before it starts bubbling, I think there’s a word for it but I don’t remember what it is. As an aside, did you ever wish there was a simple and easy way to look up information these days?), swirl the pan around so that the butter is coating the whole bottom
  5. Slap the sandwich dead center in the pan, then (THIS IS KEY) use a spatula to scooch it all around so that it sucks up all the butter. I mean it, there should be no butter left in the pan
  6. Cover the pan so that the heat is trapped and the cheese will melt
  7. This next part is kinda tricky…you don’t want to hover over the stove because that’s boring. So I suggest giving it about 3 minutes before you check (Pro tip for smokers: I usually smoke about half a cigarette, then check). Lift the sandwich up and do a visual inspection. You want that perfect golden brown appearance (hard to put into words, but you’ll know it when you see it). If you’re not there yet, give it another 2 minutes or so. After that you kind of do have to hover and check every minute or so because you DO not want to overcook
  8. Once the first side is done, remove the sandwich from the pan and the pan from the heat. Throw in another goodly chunk of butter, swirl it around as it melts, place back on stove and repeat steps 5 through 7
  9. Happiness

See how easy? This is not rocket surgery, people. If do you want to get a little fancy you can add pre-cooked bacon to your sandwich but anything else (looking at you, HAM) is gross. Some people also like to cut the sandwich before serving it but I’m not getting into that debate because I got enough problems in my life.

Bon Appetit! (no idea what that means, again, wish there was handy way to look this stuff up!)

 

BONUS TIP: For company, serve with olives unless you hate your guests in which case pickles.

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About waltzingmtilda

I try not to take life and politics too seriously, which is why I rely so heavily on my friends to do the hard parts (such as thinking). I can usually be found wreaking havoc on the Internet and stalking Adam Levine via Twitter. Also I am quitting smoking really soon.
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2 Responses to How To Make The Perfect Grilled Cheese

  1. Spar Harmon says:

    Ahem. Being iconoclastic by nature, training, and inclination, I began experimenting as soon I left da bosom of meye famalee, though continuing to make and consume da poifect grill cheese sandwitch as you describe, I was determined to devise the plupoifect grilled cheese sammidge and I did.

    Not wanting to impose it upon you or, worse, have you touting it about dat I’m a commie or sumpin,
    I won’t risk our friendship by layinnit on ya without no bye yo leave.

    sniff

    scuff scuff Well I like your blog, anyway…
    Yew can check out mine by clicking on my name *blush*

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